"Columnist and pastor Kevin Smith says the death of his father taught him and his congregation a lot about how Christians should grieve. 'For some reason, some Christians think a time of grief is a time to stay away from the gathered congregation. Have we created that feeling? Is the congregation a safe place to grieve or will you mess up the happy mood? ... Don't hesitate to be real about life's ups-and-downs, about pain in your life, and about the joy in Christ which passeth all understanding."